Financial problems are a large part of why marriages fail in the United States. When a family’s financial stability is disrupted many couples begin to argue regularly about how money is spent and why. These disputes lead to accusations of one being a spend thrift and the other being cheap. Before they even know what happened each is saying things that they ordinarily wouldn’t and the argument escalates into a knock down drag out fight.
With the economy in the state it is in at the current time, financial issues are plaguing more and more families. More people are finding themselves in a position of having to tighten their already tight belts and cut back on things that they have previously considered necessities. What one spouse may think they can’t live without may seem frivolous to the other leading to arguments. This is when communication is so important in a marriage. It is vital to be able to discuss the situation with your spouse without it leading to an argument.
When trying economic times cause a couple to have to re-evaluate their finances the first step is for them to create a list of expenses. This list should include all of the bills that have to be paid each month. Things such as mortgage, car payments and utility bills. When making this list you should over estimate the amount of these bills unless they are a fixed amount. If you do this you will not be hit with a surprisingly high bill one month and not have accounted for it. When you do this you will have a good idea of exactly, within a few dollars, how much you need each month to keep your household running.
The next thing to do is for each to make a list of things that they feel are necessities and how much they will cost the family. You might be surprised at how many of the things actually match. In doing this you will be able to discuss each item calmly without having to fight about it. It is important to go into this process with an open mind and willingness to compromise if the need arises. Discuss both lists and eliminate things that you can agree on that are not of the utmost importance. You may find that your spouse is adamant about a specific item on his or her list that you don’t see the real need for. It might be a good idea if you listen to what they have to say and why it is so important to them before you just make up your mind. As with any part of a marriage you need to keep the others feelings in mind when talking to each other. Telling them that you think that things on their list are “stupid” or inconsequential will only lead to them becoming defensive and be counter productive to what you are trying to accomplish.
As always things will come up during the month that neither of you considered on either list. Don’t hide them from each other. Bring them to your spouse’s attention right away and work them out as a team. You got married so that you could not only have someone to love and be with for the rest of your life but also to have someone to lean on in troubling times. Don’t forget that just because money is involved.
Even in times of financial struggles communication between spouses is vital to keeping a marriage strong. The vows said in good times and bad as well as richer or poorer. Talking to each other helps you both see things clearer and realize that money is just a means to an end. These times will pass and your marriage will be stronger for you having survived these issues together.
