Statistics say that between 1965 and 1974 only 10% of couples chose to live together before they got married. This is a vastly lower number than the over 50% that make that same choice today.

There are two very different schools of thought in this area. They seem to be divided along religious lines.

If you have a more religious lifestyle then living together before marriage is strictly prohibited by the scripture. It assumes sex before marriage. It is said by the religious that “cohabitation” gives no security in the relationship and definitely none to any children which might be born because of it.

They say that the practice of cohabitation has had some 30 years to prove itself and has failed. They have not been able to show, with any degree of certainty, that living together before marriage shows how happy a couple will be in marriage or that they will have a satisfactory sex life after marriage.

On the contrary the religious like to quote the statistics which show that in the 50’s the illegitimacy rate of children was at 3.9% and had grown to 28% in the 90’s. To them this shows that it is obvious that living together does not necessarily promote marriage and that any children of this cohabitation will then be born into one parent households which places a burden not only on the single parent but also on our communities and government resources.

But if you lean toward the more secular, it is said that living together before marriage is a way of determining compatibility.

In the secular world people believe that living together helps the couples determine what quirks each of them have and if they are deal breakers. To their way of thinking it is important to have this information before entering into a marriage which is harder to get out of than a condo rental agreement.

What is important to keep in mind is that most people are trying harder when they are dating than once they are married. That being said, some of the bad habits may not appear until after the marriage. They have been on their best behavior before that and now feel comfortable to be themselves.

Whether you call it cohabitation or living together before marriage doesn’t really matter. What does matter is your choice. For some, the practice works out well and everyone ends up happy and for others it doesn’t work out as well.

It is really a personal choice and the lifestyle which you want to live.