There was a time when divorce was a dirty word. It was just not done even in extreme cases of abuse people were expected to work things out and save their marriage. Back then people did whatever was necessary to stay in your marriage. These days it is so much easier to get divorced and people are doing it in droves. Statistics show that over 54% of marriages end in divorce. Some get divorced for very legitimate reasons while others have just become bored or frustrated and getting divorced is no big deal.
Infidelity is one of the leading factors in the divorce rate. When one spouse goes outside of the marriage bed for sex and companionship the other is not often eager to forgive and forget. Once the vows are broken and trust betrayed the marriage is usually over. Cheating can be over-come and the marriage saved but both sides have to be willing to put in a lot of work for that to happen. In most cases one is less than open to the possibility and would rather put an end to the relationship rather than continue to work at saving the marriage.
Another problem in marriages that can signal a marriage that is heading for divorce is when communication is lacking. Since open communication is such an important aspect of a marriage, when it is missing it is hard to keep it going. When a spouse feels that they can not openly express their feelings and talk to their husband or wife about them they will look to others for that outlet. If a couple can not discuss anything and everything with each other they find it difficult to find anything to talk about and distance is created between the two. There is always a part of themselves that they keep from the other and this is no way for a marriage to work.
Sometimes the reason the couple got married in the first place it the problem. Many go into a marriage with the knowledge that their spouse isn’t perfect but believe that they can change them and make them into the person that they want them to be. This NEVER works. Marriage should never be entered into with the expectation that things will get better. It should be great to start with and then you know that you can weather any storms that will come your way. Eventually the one that is expected to change will become resentful and wonder why their spouse married them if they were so bad to start with. Love isn’t the only thing that holds a marriage together. Mutual respect and acceptance of each others flaws is a large factor. Marriage is just as much about give and take as it is about how much you love each other.
Couples find that their marriage is heading down hill when they don’t have the time to put into it. The lack of time can be caused by a multitude of factors including a job that requires long hours or extensive travel or even the addition of a new baby that takes up a lot of time. Just like a beautiful garden, a marriage needs to be cultivated every day. People are by nature insecure and need others, especially those closest to them, to tell them how much they are needed and loved on a regular basis. The best way to avoid a problem like this if time is an issue is to make sure that you regularly make time for each other. Things such as a date night are often helpful. They remind each of you why you got married.
Marriage is work. For some it comes easier than for others. Some say that marriage is a 50/50 deal. It isn’t. Each person in a marriage has to give 100% of themselves to it every day for it to succeed. When they find they can’t do that any more divorce is the end result.
